Da Dub Bruthas....

I ain't sayin' she's a Goldigga..

2007-11-28T17:51:00.000-05:00

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST (CRAIGSLIST.COM)

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City , so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or
other commercial interests

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PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Sick to my stomach...

2007-07-30T11:48:00.000-04:00

If I get another email or get another phone call cracking jokes about Micheal Vick and these dogfighting allegations, I think I might scream. Let us remember that several years ago, we were all ready to hang Ray Lewis out to dry after his night in Buckhead during the last SuperBowl in Atlanta. Was he guilty of being stupid for being out with the wrong people? Absolutely. Vick is no different at this point.

Look at it this way - if you were accused of something... something as serious as murder - and you were innocent, how would you feel if everyone around you hung you out to dry... Dan Ackroyd's position in "Trading Places" for example. Being accused is almost as good as a conviction these days. Your livelihood is taken away from you - you have to depend on your own resources to defend yourself.

Now don't get me wrong, all I am saying at this point is our judicial system is founded in the fact that you are innocent until proven guilty. The court of public opinion is about as flaky as some 2 day old Pillsbury biscuits. As 2 faced as twins connected at the hip. For everyone that is passing judgment on Micheal Vick before his day in court - just wait until the court of public opinion turns on you.

Cardiac Cats expire due to cardiac arrest... film at 11.

2006-09-12T10:06:00.000-04:00

Carolina Panthers quarterback Jake Delhomme (17) reacts after getting sacked by Atlanta Falcons' Rod Coleman (75) and John Abraham (55) during the third quarter of the Panthers' 20-6 loss in an NFL football game in Charlotte, N.C., Sunday, Sept. 10, 2006. (AP Photo/Chuck Burton)

Ahhhhhhh... welcome back football season. There's just something wonderful about opening the season in a division rival's house and embarrassing them, don't you think?

Some things to note:

The Falcons have never had back-to-back winning seasons.
Of those winning seasons, they all have come on even years (1980, 1992, 1998, 2002, 2004). Looks like we need to get ready to write 2006 down on this list too.

J-Dub, whatcha got for me now, playboy???

Silence of the Rams...

2006-08-24T22:47:00.000-04:00

Hey Rams... remember this?

It was lovely

2006-07-05T14:45:00.000-04:00

So last week I was in Las Vegas. I went out there on vacation just to had a good time. We went and saw the Hoover Dam and to a beach on Lake Mead. When we got there it was the sun was setting. So I had to take this picture with my phone.

When I move, you move...

2006-06-23T13:39:00.000-04:00

Only 34 days until Training Camp... HURRY UP. I can only watch old NFL network reruns of games so many times before I go crazy.

Class.....

2006-05-31T11:10:00.000-04:00

So I am sitting in my MIS (Management Information System) and I was just thinking I haven't blogged in a couple of days. Of course there have been somethings on my mind that I did want to blog about. But I will have to do it after class.

A little humor...

2006-05-22T14:50:00.000-04:00

...special thanks to Lori for this email!

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (only 10mph over the limit),a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

She replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what?

Again, she said, "A rectum stretcher"

"And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" he asked.

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly, but surely stretch the rectum, until it's about 6 feet wide."

And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.

You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge!"

Traffic Ticket $120

Court Costs. $80.00

The Look on Cop's face .... PRICELESS.

What the f*%k!!

2006-05-16T14:40:00.000-04:00

How can you do a job if every improvement you purpose gets shot down? It is funny how you can get buy in on something and the support of the people that make the decisions but you idea still doesn't come to light. And it doesn't come to light not because people change their minds, but because individuals in another diviison/group or whatever you call them say no because they have something already that is supposed to do already. The fact is that maybe the software can do it. But the fact of the matter is that it has been three years and the items that are requested still have not been implemented, but I'm not allowed to purchase the software I know it will solve my issue. It is such bullsh*t.

Why in the world would someone tie ones hands if they job they are trying to do benefits them and the people one supports?

I will tell you why. Because they are jealous of the fact that I am trying to do something I was hired to do, and that help people with computer problems. And the idiots over in thr technology group are upset because the group I work with is more efficient than 95% of thei staff. So they just want to stop us from staying ahead of them and beening better than them. But that's okay, because we are a resourceful group of individuals. And we'll get what we want one way or another.

An Evening Out

2006-05-13T02:05:00.000-04:00

Well its a friday night and me and the wife just finished bowling. We went cosmic bowling. That's where they turn off the lights and have music and neon lights and stuff. We had a good time just acting silly and drinking.

Can't you just fix my tire???

2006-04-19T08:13:00.000-04:00

Last week I ran over a nail in my car, and ended up taking it to a Firestone to get it fixed since the car needed a front-end alignment as well - I wonder if Firestone knew what they were doing giving ME a lifetime alignment (that I have been using for about six years now).

My car is 10 years old and I have had it all 10 years. So when the Check Engine Light comes on, it doesn't bother me a bit anymore (unless it's time to get my tag). It comes and goes all the time now along with several other lights, so I'm like whatever as long as the car still accelerates fine and I don't smell anything burnung.

What irks the crap out of me is I leave my car at a Firestone location in Atlanta (right next to their district office no less) to get a tire fixed and tune up the engine, and they call me 2 hours later (not doing any work at this point) and tell me I need new tires, new fuel filter, new wiper blades, and a plethora of other crap that added up to an additional $744 to the $130 I was spending. CAN'T YOU JUST FIX MY TIRE???? WHY IS THAT SO DAMN HARD???

What is Like That???

2006-02-13T14:06:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the delay in posting. So here is the scenerio, I was talking to a friend today and she said something that I had to think about. She got into a fight this weekend and she said the chick wasn't showing her any respect. Which i understand, but then she said, "escpecially considering the fact that she don't even know me like that..." and immediately I starting thinking, what is "know me like that". Like What? Is there a certain way you have to know someone before you can show them respect? I was always taught to show respect to someone, until they do something that changes that. Are morals not being taught at home today? I mean really what is the deal with today's youth. Just have to ask yourself sometimes.

One More... Just One More

2006-01-17T15:09:00.000-05:00

Who cares that they had the 1 defense in the NFL.
Who cares if the sacked Jake 8 times in the first meeting. Who cares that the offense could only get 3 points in back in November.

Not me. I had faith in my Panthers the whole time. Not only did the Panthers show Chicago who has the best defense, but they also put up the most points scored in Chicago this year. And if you thought that Chicago would prevent Steve Smith from getting his 100 yards receiving this time around, you were dead wrong. Smith lit them up for 200+ yards this time around and two touchdowns.

The game showed why this is a team of destiny and this run is very similar to the run made just two years ago to get the Superbowl. This is the second NFC Championship in three years and and third in the franchises history. John Fox is 1-0 in this games and if you recall the last time they had to go into the NFC Season Champions the Philadelphia Eagles, who if I'm not mistaken were 15-2 just like the Seahawks. And no one gave Carolina a chance in that game, either. All I know is that Carolina in my opinion is turning into the Patriots of the NFC. Cause here lately all they do is win playoff games (except for that dang Super Bowl two years ago).

"PLAYOFFS??!!! Don't talk to me about the PLAYOFFS!!!!" - Jim Mora, Sr.

2006-01-17T09:24:00.000-05:00

Maybe I didn't want to go to cold ass Detroit for the SuperBowl. Maybe that's why the Falcons screwed away the second half of the season. At this point, I will take almost any explanation. It's that damn parity stuff. The gift and the curse. Without it, we would probably suck year in and year out - with it, we go from year to year wondering what's going to happen... holding our breath like I was the other night watching "24". Whatever it is, I'm officially hoping for a Carolina - Pittsburgh Superbowl in the Motor City. It would only be fitting for two teams that have been on the road doing what was deemed the impossible. I won't begin to go into my convoluted explanation of why I root for certain teams. Just suffice it to say it has something to do with the Falcons and their history.

Anyway, here's to what's shaping up to be an exciting Championship Weekend. Let's hope it lives up to the hype.

We're Not Number One...We Need to Win One!!!!

2005-12-26T10:07:00.000-05:00

They are appropriately named the "Cardic Cats" for a reason. With a lose to the Cowboys on Saturday, my beloved Panthers are now in a "Win or Go Home" position. If they win, they'll get into the play-offs as a wild-card. Looking at the whole picture they can still win the division with a win and a Buc lost, I believe. So I have to watch as my "Cardic Cats" try and get into the play-offs against D Dub's Atlanta Falcons. The same Falcons that killed our playoff chances last year, with Vick's dive for the end-zone. But that is in the past, this year's team although showing Helter-Skelter characteristics have the ability to beat the Falcons and contain Vick as they did 2 weeks ago.

Even though the Falcons can't make the playoffs this year I know they want to play spoiler. For us that follow these two teams, we are witnessing a bitter rivalry in the making. Hell the teams of the NFC South hate each other. And the fact that the New Orleans Saints have the ability to beat the Buc is a story all by itself.

Go CATS!!!

Another one bites the dust...

2005-12-22T14:24:00.000-05:00

"Steve walks warily down the street,
With the brim pulled way down low
Ain’t no sound but the sound of his feet,
Machine guns ready to go
Are you ready, are you ready for this
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
To the sound of the beat

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I’m gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust"

- from "Another One Bites the Dust" - Queen

It's do or die time in Atlanta Falcons land... there's something oh-so familiar about this football season - a trip deep into the playoffs last year, all kinds of raised expectations for this season - We play up to the chumps and beat them solidly, then come back and lose to the real competitors.

Well, Atlanta fans will either have an early Christmas present in the form of a win over the Bucs in Tampa, or we will be retiring our Vick jerseys for the season. I'm not one for predictions, especially when it comes to the Falcons, but I know I where I will be Saturday afternoon. Hopefully, I can wait a few more weeks to play this song about the Falcons.

The world loses a Great One

2005-12-10T17:04:00.000-05:00

"It's so much easier for me to talk about my life in front of two thousand people than it is one-to-one. I'm a real defensive person, because if you were sensitive in my neighborhood you were something to eat." -- Richard Pryor

I was watching the news this afternoon and something shocked me. Richard Pryor died today at the age of 65. Truly a comedic genius and great man. His comedy reach a number of generations and people. I remember watching Richard Pryor movies with my parents and with my friends. The man was just funny. He will truly be missed.

Another lonely Christmas...

2005-12-09T12:39:00.000-05:00

Last night I spent another lonely Christmas
Darling, darling, u should've been there
Cuz all the 1s I dream about
U are the 1 that makes my love shout
U see, u are the only 1 I care 4 - "Another Lonely Christmas" - Prince

I kind of have mixed emotions this time of year - this is supposed to be time when you can't wait to go home to see your family, talk to your cousins, help your grandmother wash dishes, play with the new toys you got from your parents... so quiet as it's kept, I'm a little jealous of my boy up in NC right about now - I need to see some little kids running around playing with whatever new toy or playing video games. Christmas only makes me remember that I'm a grownup now. I can't go running around in circles at my grandmother's basement anymore - and not because all the adults would yell at me - because I would hit my head on the ceiling down there.

This is the time when you want to be a kid again - no car payments to worry about - praying for some snow (it worked three times for me - once in Florida!) - and trying your best to get up as early as possible even though the 25th is the only day you are trying to get out of the bed early.

Anyway, I don't want to bring the mood down, but to all the inner childs out there please have a Merry Christmas even though reality may not let you.

It's Christmas Time

2005-12-03T22:07:00.000-05:00

Well it's offically Christmas time here in my home. Today the wife and I put up the three and put some presents under it for the kids. They are already excited talking about what's theirs and what they want. You know this whole Santa Clause thing is rather fun. I really like seeing the smiles on the kids faces in the morning when they get what they asked for. I especially get joy from watching the wife open her gifts. She does so much for all of us, I really need to step my game up this year and get her something really nice. I usually get her things she wants and needs, so I need to do something different this year.

J Dub's Top 10 for Thanksgiving 2005

2005-11-27T23:13:00.000-05:00

It's a shame I read my counterparts blog just today, but I can definitely let you know what was on rotation during my recent road trip for Thanksgiving. Just like my boy everything here circa 1992-1997. In no particular order:

Ahmad - Back in the Day
De La Soul - Ring Ring Ring
A Tribe Called Quest - Scenerio ( Remix)
The Roots - Proceed (Remix w/ Bahamadia)
Ice Cube - Jackin for Beats
Luniz - I got 5 on it
Kris Kross - Tonight's da Night ( Remix with Redman)
Pharcyde - Passin Me By
Lost Boyz - Me and My Crazy World
LL Cool J - 4,3,2,1

I know I didn't respond within 24 hours after D Dub's post, but I did response within 24 hours after reading. So what do you think?

D Dubs Top 10 for Thanksgiving 2005

2005-11-23T10:27:00.000-05:00

D Dub’s Top 10 for Thanksgiving 2005

As usual, I’ll be hitting the road for a few days and I need to get my road trip CD together… here are a few entries on the playlist – everything on here is circa 1992-1996 (I think). So here’s my Top 10 Driving Songs from 1992-1996 (in no particular order):

Kwame & A New Beginning – Ownlee Eue

Craig Mack – Flava in Your Ear Remix - “Don’t be mad – UPS is hirin’” is the BEST line.

Heavy D – Black Coffee

Ice Cube – Bop Gun

Christopher Williams – Every Little Thing U Do (Yes, he is STILL alive – quit saying the man is dead!)

Mary J. Blige – Be Happy

Notorious B.I.G. – Big Poppa Remix

Keith Murray – Get Lifted

OutKast – Elevators (ONP Trunk Rattlin’ Mix)

LL Cool J – Loungin (Who Do Ya Luv)

One thing you don’t know about me and my counterpart in NC – we battle back and forth with the music… so now I expect a response from J Dub within 24 hours… let’s see what he comes up with.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Now it's time for something a little different....

2005-11-18T09:43:00.000-05:00

So I've been blogging on and off for the last 2 years... so I decided to try something different with my boy D Dub down in the ATL. He's been blog for quite some time as well, and so I thought wouldn't it be cool to have multiple people blogging on the same site. Think about it... why surf to multiple blogs when you can get it all in one place. Multiple thoughts one spot, what a concept.

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Today a good friend of mine read me a poem that was written because of a relationship they just got out of. I have to say the poem was deep and it made me think of the things that I have been through in my life. It's funny how someone else's words can provoke a thought or a feeling in a total stranger. But this is true even with lyrics of a song, or the dialogue in a movie. I find it funny and fascinating that "words" can cause such a thing. After listening to the poem, there was one line that stands out in my mind - "I'm going to start living life, and not let life live me!" Something about that line just stuck with me and made me realize that I need to pay more attention to my life around me. I need to spend more time with my wife and kids and be a part of their lives even more. Those words really did touch me to my soul.